Tool #1 - Acceptance
Why is acceptance important. Let me explain. If we do not accept that our lover or partner has decided that they don't want to be with us this will cause a problem. The problem is called division which simply means two visions. You are going in one direction and they are going in anther direction. This will never work. If we resist the person by not accepting the break up this will cause tension and the result will be that they will push you away. I know that this is not what you want. What happens when you begin to accept the reality of the situation is it relieves the tension in the relationship. Remember we want to attract a mate not repel them.
Tool # 2 - Give Them Some Space
When you give your partner some space this will send a message to them that you are okay and that you have moved on with your life. You don't want to appear needy because this is a sure way to set yourself up for rejection. Nobody wants to be with a needy person. It's not attractive. Think about it. When you meet a beggar on the street do you find that attractive. No, of course not. But when you meet a successful businessperson walking down the street in a suit. That turns you on because it is attractive. They are sending the message that I have it together and I have something to offer. The space will allow for both of you to evaluate the relationship and to determine if you really want to continue.
Tool # 3 - Develop a Plan
Have you ever heard the expression that if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. That's a good expression. Imagine if Andre Fleury didn't prepare for a hockey game and he showed up drunk for the game. Do you think that he would be a successful NHL goalie. I don't think so. After a couple of months you might want to start planning when you will get together, where you will get together, and what you will talk about when you get back together. Then call her up and go for coffee. Let me give you a couple of tips. Be yourself and tell her something that you appreciate about him/her. It is important to build your partner up as this builds confidence.